“I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe bears so little resemblance to the world and the President that I experience. And now I know why. There is a President Obama that only Republicans can see.” KnowsWorldLittlesPresidentBearsRepublicanPresident ObamaWrapsResemblance Author:Jon Stewart
“I'm a bit down. Liza Minelli and David Gest, I don't know how it didn't work out. How can a man who likes other men and a woman who drinks not get along? The interesting thing is this - there is no conceivable amount of money worth telling the world that you were beaten up by Liza Minelli.” KnowsMenWorldBitsInterestingKnow HowAmountDrinkWork OutLikesBeatenInteresting Things Author:Jon Stewart
“The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, "We're going to make a killing here." You won't because it's still only as good as the content.” WorldStillsCompanyMediaInternetNotesKillingPassingPassingsClassroom Author:Jon Stewart
“But our perfect democracy, which neither needs nor particularly wants voters, is a rarity. It is important to remember there still exist many other forms of government in the world today, and that dozens of foreign governments still long for a democracy such as ours to be imposed on them.” WorldWantNeedsLongStillsImportantGovernmentTodayRememberFormPerfectDemocracyVotersDozenWorld TodayForms Of GovernmentRarity Author:Jon Stewart
“The view... from my apartment... was the World Trade Center... and now it's gone, they attacked it. This symbol of American ingenuity, and strength, and labor, and imagination and commerce, and it is gone. But you know what? You know what the view is now? The Statue of Liberty. The view from the South of Manhattan is now the Statue of Liberty. You can't beat that!” KnowsWorldImaginationViewsLibertyGoneBeatsLaborTradeSouthSymbolsCommerceApartmentStatuesManhattanIngenuityWorld TradeWorld Trade CenterStatue Of Liberty Author:Jon Stewart
“I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.” ThinkingWorldPolicySpreadAdministrationIronyAgendasForeign Policy Author:Jon Stewart
“If the world does need to repopulate at some point, the announcing team of Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara, I think, would make very pleasant children.” IfsThinkingWorldNeedsChildrenDoeTeamPleasantAnnouncingLowes Author:Jon Stewart
“That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.” WorldYearsFeelingsCausesComedianStaringPleasantCrapGood Years Author:Jon Stewart
“As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.” IfsWorldWantIdeasEndsNightSocietyMissingApproachJokesChaosMillenniumGoofing Off Author:Jon Stewart
“Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make the world safe enough that nineteen people wouldn't want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based.” PeopleWorldWantWarHardEnoughSeemsImagineMilitarySafeStrategyHarmImagine ThatTowersFlewNineteen Author:Jon Stewart
“Planet Hollywood has shrunk from seventy-five locations around the world to just over thirty-five over the past two years. No new Planet Hollywoods are opening, which in turn has caused a 100 percent decline in opportunities for Bruce Willis to play the harmonica.” WorldYearsTwoPlayPastTurnsOpportunityFivePlanetsPercentHollywoodOpeningAround The WorldThirtyTwo YearsDeclineLocationSeventiesOver The PastHarmonicas Author:Jon Stewart
“America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless... but now the security of the world is threatened by Kim Jong-il, a nerdy, pompadoured, platform shoe-wearer who looks like something you'd put on the end of your child's pencil.” WorldLooksChildrenEndsAmericaPastDealsSecurityShoesYour ChildrenPlatformsDictatorThreatenedPencilsEccentricLike SomethingKimNerdyPlatform Shoes Author:Jon Stewart
“People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to write jokes about the absurdity that we see in government and the world and all that, and that's it.” PeopleWorldWantFeelsWritingGovernmentCausesGroupsJokesWarriorAbsurdity Author:Jon Stewart
“I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.” ThinkingWorldKidsLosesDangerousInnocenceDangerous Places Author:Jon Stewart
“I think that, if we do anything in a positive sense for the world, is provide one little bit of context, that's very specifically focused, and hopefully people can add to their entire puzzle that gives them a larger picture of what it is that they see.” PeopleIfsThinkingWorldGivingLittlesBitsLittle BitAddFocusedHopefullyPuzzlesOf Context Author:Jon Stewart
“The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.” WorldInternetNotesPassingPassingsClassroomNetworkingSocial NetworkingSocial NetworkWorld Wide WebDaily ShowInternet Users Author:Jon Stewart
“Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.” WorldPresidentGroupsWillingMetsYesterdayBritainSpainCoalitions Author:Jon Stewart
“Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.” PeopleWorldDeathReligionHopeGivenDyingAtheistAbsurdParadoxTornOrganized ReligionNon BelieverFalse HopeAnti ReligionTorn ApartDaily ShowIrreligion Author:Jon Stewart
“Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people.” PeopleWorldHumansWarOrderTeachingWasteHuman LifeBarbaricTreasuredWorld Religions Author:Jon Stewart
“If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.” IfsWorldHardProblemFunnyAmericaPoliticalTurnsPoliticsPresidentLinesDealsRepublicanBarackUsaDiplomacyTotalitarianismUnreasonablePresident Barack ObamaHardnessFunny PoliticalMullahs Author:Jon Stewart
“With the situation in Iraq growing ever more dangerous, the 34-member Coalition of The Willing are, one by one, dropping out to join the other coalition known as Most of The Rest of The World.” WorldSituationKnownGrowingDangerousWillingMembersIraqDroppingCoalitionsDropping Out Author:Jon Stewart
