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Quote by Debatrayee Banerjee

“Be your own anchor, and sail along the shore of Life with a bunch of smiles. In a whirlwind of a thousand journeys, we flow through Life, as if crossing through an Ocean of an endless voyage. Sometimes we marvel at the ports we glide along, sometimes we chase the waves with our heart and soul, while sometimes we lose our way only to find a lighthouse guiding us along, always catching our breath at the majestic sunrises and sunsets.”

Quote by Debatrayee Banerjee

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Debatrayee Banerjee

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“When Bill died, I was for the first time faced with the loss of a friend, and what I initially felt when I read the news of his death in the New York Times—he had died suddenly of a heart attack—was numbness and shock. I kept thinking I should have felt more pain or sadness or grief or something. I kept trying to figure out how to grieve properly. While I was trying to sort out my response to Bill’s death, I had a conversation over lunch with my ex-boyfriend Keith, who had remained a good friend after we’d split up. He’d always been a great sounding board and an uncommonly clearheaded source of wisdom and advice. “I don’t know what to do about all this,” I told him. “I don’t know how to process it.” “Well,” he said, leaning forward intensely, as he always did when he talked, his right hand chopping the air, his boyish face bobbing up and down, “the thing is, the thing is, when you have someone you know who’s died, you have to grieve, of course, but really, there are different things you have to grieve.” “What do you mean?” “Well, you know, you have to grieve the loss of the person, you know, the fact that the actual person won’t be there anymore to talk to, to laugh with, to share memories with, that sort of thing.” “Right.” “And then you have to, you have to mourn the loss of who that person held you to be. Because that dies with them. Their vision of you no longer exists. And a whole world of who you are is gone. So you have to mourn that, too.” I sat there and took that in, an electric current of recognition coursing through my body. “That…makes sense,” I said. Keith nodded vigorously. “Yeah, it does. It does.” I shook my head. “How do you know all this stuff?” It was a question I often asked Keith; he and I were the same age, but his insight into profound human matters often outshined my own. He laughed a high-pitched giggle. “I don’t know.” That was always his answer.”

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Book:Without You: A Memoir of Love, Loss and the Musical 'Rent'
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“In my mother I recognise the trap that has been set for all of us: the narrative of love that has no happy ending. Our whole lives we are raised to look for love, to yearn for it, to hope for the day we will meet it and know it, and take it for our own. We build our future on the dream we are sold of an unbreakable two. Find your love, and build your life. There is no script for how to say goodbye. There is no story written about how to stay alive when your live is dead. There is no manual for farewells. I have never seen sadness like I saw in my parents' eyes as they were letting each other go. They gazed at one another and exchanged their lives back and forth in silent memories, and they didn't look away. No word were spoken, but every breath was theirs together.”

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Book:Times Like These
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