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Quote by Christopher Titus

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Christopher Titus
Christopher Titus

Christopher Titus is an American comedian known for his unique humor style and autobiographical comedy. Born on October 1, 1964, he has had a career in comedy for over 30 years. Titus' work often involves personal experiences, including his family background, marriage, and professional challenges. more

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“Here's the thing: If you're so far left you actually believe that somebody owes you a job, citizenship and a heart transplant, you're mentally ill. If you're so far right that you actually believe that somebody who doesn't have a job and is not a citizen deserves to have their heart cut out and sold on eBay, and you get to keep 80 percent of the profit - you're mentally ill.”

IfsBelieveHeartJobsLeftCuttingCitizensPercentDeserveIllProfitCitizenshipMentally IllTransplantsEbayHeart Transplant
Author:Christopher Titus
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“My dad also survived five divorces, and the women he married cleaned his ass out every time. I used to think my dad got divorced because he wanted new furniture. At one point in my life, all we had left was a wooden box, a 12 black-and-white TV, and a four-man rubber raft for a couch. And yet, I was the coolest kid in third grade. Mom, can we have a sleepover in Christopher Titus' house? They have a raft in the living room! We can row to breakfast in the morning. I can actually be Captain Crunch!”

ThinkingMenI CanKidsWantedUsedHouseLeftBlackWhiteRoomsMorningFiveFourTvsMomDadMarriedThirdsMy DadBoxesDivorceAssGradesBreakfastBlack And WhiteCaptainsSurvivedFurnitureDivorcedCouchesLiving RoomRubberCrunchThird GradeSleepovers
Author:Christopher Titus
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