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“One day John J. Eastwood said, “There is a bad guy in town.” He said, “I want to fight him.” “First”, he said, “I’m going to have some whiskey.” Then he went outside and started a fight. But he got shot. But he didn’t really get shot. But he killed a hot dog! The next day he was dead. We had his funeral..... Kids, this is about westerns” — Chris Mackey

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One day John J. Eastwood said, “There is a bad guy in town.” He said, “I want to fight him.” “First”, he said, “I’m going to have some whiskey.” Then he went outside and started a fight. But he got shot. But he didn’t really get shot. But he killed a hot dog! The next day he was dead. We had his funeral..... Kids, this is about westerns
— Chris Mackey