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“To understand what effects roadblocks to communication have on children or what they do to the parent-child relationship, parents must first be shown that their verbal responses usually carry more than one meaning or one message. For example, to say to a child who has just complained that her friend doesn’t like her or doesn’t play with her anymore, “I would suggest you try to treat Emma better and then maybe she will want to play with you” conveys much more to a child than simply the “content” of your suggestion. The child may “hear” any or all of these hidden messages: -“You don’t accept my feeling the way I do, so you want me to change.” -“You don’t trust me to work out this problem myself.” -“You think it’s my fault, then.” -“You think I’m not as smart as you.” -“You think I’m doing something bad or wrong.” — Dr. Thomas Gordon