“I tip like crazy. Theyll remember me. Celebrity can be expensive.” RememberCrazyExpensiveRemember Me Author:Phil Donahue
“How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.” IfsKnowsChildrenOur ChildrenExcuseYour ChildrenDo You KnowAbdomenStethoscopeObstetricians Author:Fran Lebowitz
“Society in the English countryside is still strangely, quaintly divided. If black comedy and a certain type of social commentary are what you want, I think English rural communities offer quite a lot of material.” IfsThinkingWantStillsCertainSocialBlackCommunityComedyMaterialsTypeOffersWhat You WantDividedCommentaryCountrysideBlack ComedyRural CommunitiesEnglish Countryside Author:Rachel Cusk
“Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.” HouseNaturalHistoryConsequenceLeavingOffendedNatural Consequences Author:Fran Lebowitz
“There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.” Has BeensBookSelfSelf EsteemTaughtTerribleEsteem Author:Fran Lebowitz
“My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two-thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature, I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than one might wish.” IfsWayWantTwoMightCertainLiteratureWishStarsPicksWake UpMy FavoriteRingsThirtyPrizeBreakfastAfternoonMovie StarNobelNobel PrizeSwedenFrench Movies Author:Fran Lebowitz
“Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian.” ShouldHappensGirlFoundWomenBoysGayConclusionHomosexualGay RightsUsageTrampsLesbianism Author:Fran Lebowitz