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Quote by Paula Poundstone

“The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much. I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent? Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet.”

Quote by Paula Poundstone

Author

Paula Poundstone

Paula Poundstone, born on December 29, 1959, is an accomplished American comedian. Her career began in the 1980s, and she gained widespread recognition for her unique humor and sharp wit. Poundstone has appeared on various television shows and comedy clubs, including 'The Tonight Show' and 'Late Night with David Letterman'. She is also a prolific writer, having authored several humorous books. more

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“I was court-ordered to Alcoholics Anonymous on television. Pretty much blows the hell out of the second A, wouldn't you say?”

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Author:Paula Poundstone

“The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. I wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. Obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage.”

Ifs Care Together Pleasure Grass Garbage Landfills Biodegradable

Author:Paula Poundstone

“Speaking of happy successes, after years of struggling to lose those few extra pounds every mother puts on during adoption, particularly when the doctor orders bed rest, in 2004 I sent my assistant to the Gap in dark glasses with a fake ID to purchase my first pair of Easy Fit jeans.”

Years Firsts Mother Order Easy Loses Dark Struggle Fit Bed Doctors Glasses Fake Extras Pounds Pairs Gaps Adoption Jeans Assistants Dark Glasses

Author:Paula Poundstone

“I like to work on New Year's Eve. It has a nice spirit; a nice feel about it. If you are all about the 'year-end' thing at all, then laughing with fellow human beings is a great way to start the new year.”

Ifs Way Feels Years Humans Ends Spirit Human Beings Laughing Nice Fellows New Year New Years Eve Year End

Author:Paula Poundstone

“It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.”

Night Lines Interesting Classic Something Interesting Interactive

Author:Paula Poundstone

“When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.”

People Way Writing Said I Can Problem Felt Talking Cutting Happened Sat One Time Geek

Author:Paula Poundstone

“President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.”

Country Bigs Hate President Half Balls Track Blow Maps President Obama Pins Balloons

Author:Paula Poundstone

“I talk to a lot of librarians, and there's always a steady drumbeat of how libraries are places of community. But a lot of them have also recently - and just in the nick of time - refurbished, because during this economic downturn, people have a tendency to borrow instead of buy.”

People Community Economic Library Tendencies Steady Librarian Downturn Economic Downturn

Author:Paula Poundstone

“I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I made noodles, but they were hard. It never occurred to me to check them; I just stopped cooking them when I felt they were ready. Really, I'm too absentminded.”

Made I Can Hard Felt Ready Cooking Sticks Checks Cooks Salmon Noodles

Author:Paula Poundstone

“The line between the reality that is photographed because it seems beautiful to us and the reality that seems beautiful because it has been photographed is very narrow.”

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Book:Difficult Loves

Source: Difficult Loves