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Quote by Lewis Black

“The new millennium sucks! What a disappointment! What's the difference between the old millennium and the new millennium? Nothing! It's the same load of crap with a '2' in the front. When I was a kid, I am old enough so that when I was a kid, I looked forward to the new millennium. When I was young, I said, 'I'm gonna live through a change! A massive change! Things are gonna be different! Things are gonna be great!' Screwed again! No flying cars! No flying cars!”

Author

Lewis Black

Lewis Black is a renowned American comedian known for his sharp wit and incisive humor. Born on August 30, 1948, he has been active in the comedy scene since the 1980s, gaining widespread recognition for his unique style of humor that often tackles social issues and current events with a humorous twist. more

“I have no religion because I was born and raised Jewish. And on the first night of Hanukkah, my parents, when I was very young, gave me a top to play with. They called it a dreidel. I knew it was a top. And as I looked at that top, I said, 'You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.”

Thinking Knows Firsts Long Said Play Young Night Parent Born Raised Born And Raised Hanukkah

Author:Lewis Black

“I believe that every paper in the country should have one headline that when you read it, you laugh so hard you can't stand it. It has to be that way. What about a headline like this: 'Hippo Eats Dwarf'? How good is that? You read that headline, and you immediately close the paper and say, 'Wow, it's gonna be a great day.”

Way Should Believe Country Hard I Believe Laughing Paper Should Have Wow Headlines Dwarfs Great Day Dwarves Hippo

Author:Lewis Black

“Some people have religion as a means of solace. But, I had a dreidel, so that was out.”

People Mean Religion Solace

Author:Lewis Black

“[The Weather Channel] is the most watched cable channel in America. I'll repeat that. It is the most watched cable channel in America. They were worried about the terrorists immobilizing us, and a portion of our countrymen watch weather. 'Kay, you don't get any more immobile than that... unless you're in a goddamn coma. That means you're saying, "I'd go to the window, but it's too far." If you want to know what the weather is you go to a window and stick your hand out and if you want to know what the temperature is you drive by a bank.”