“Kiss my ass and my anus’cause it’s finally famous.” CausesKissingAssAnusKiss My Ass Author:Nicki Minaj
“Chimpanzees is hatin but I take it all in stride. Put her in a jungle with bananas on the side.” SidesJungleBananasStrideChimpanzees Author:Nicki Minaj
“If you don’t take control of your career, guess what? You’ll be stuck in the sunset watching the sunrise, I am thesunrise.” IfsCareersStuckSunsetSunriseTake Control Author:Nicki Minaj
“The people that are inclined to hate are also inclined to belosers. A loser could never congratulate a winner – it’s not in them” PeopleHateWinnerLoser Author:Nicki Minaj
“Cause I am not a word, I am not a line. I am not a girl that can ever be defined” GirlCausesLinesDefined Author:Nicki Minaj
“May the Lord protect me as the world gets hectic. My voice projected, my life reflected.” WorldMayVoiceLordProtectHectic Author:Nicki Minaj
“I'm bout that fast money, money ain't got no patience. But if them boys come run like you on probation.” IfsRunningMoneyBoysLike YouNo PatienceProbation Author:Nicki Minaj
“Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks you, just yell, 'Don't abuse me like your parents abuse you!' Then call children's services and tell them you saw this bully crying in the bathroom and you're worried about him. Bam! He just got moved to a foster home.” ChildrenHomeNextParentSawsCryProductsLike YouAbuseMovedWorriedNext TimeBullyBathroomStressfulAbusiveHome Life Author:Eugene Mirman
“High School: Oh, man. This is where boys and girls go from tweens to teens and become complicated and cruel. Girls play sick mind games; boys try to pull each other's penises off and throw them in the bushes. If you can, buy the most expensive jeans in a two-hundred-mile radius of your town and wear them on your first day. If anyone asks how you could afford them say that your father is the president of Ashton Kutcher. When they are like, 'Ashton Kutcher has a president?' answer, 'Yes.' Everyone will be in awe of you and you won't have to go through a lot of pain and cat fights.” IfsMenTryingMindFirstsTwoPlaySchoolPainGirlFightingAsksFatherGamesPresidentAnswersBoysHundredHigh SchoolCatSickTownsComplicatedMilesExpensiveAweTeensJeansBoy And GirlOur TownMind GamesRadiusTweens Author:Eugene Mirman