“Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory.”
Quote by Eugene Mirman
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“I don't think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.”
“Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?”
Source: The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life
“Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job.”
“I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.”
“I think in Russia, there's a lot of storytelling and anecdotes.”
“The 'perfect marriage' of food and wine should allow for infidelity".”
