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Rewriting My Happily Ever After: A Memoir of Divorce and Discovery

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Ranjani Rao

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“Sweating the small stuff is OK, but exercise your complaints lightheartedly. Seek out humor in your whining. Be humble. Be self-aware. If you allow yourself to sweat the small stuff—and I think you should—then you also must force yourself to be detail oriented. If you allow yourself to sweat the small stuff, then you must try your hardest not to sweat the big stuff. That’s the deal we are making in this chapter. I will declare that it is acceptable to complain every once in a while, and you will agree to do it only with the small stuff and not the big stuff. I am giving this advice because venting is extremely healthy. And it is also good practice for self-awareness. Venting about the little things provides you with perspective on how silly and unproductive complaining really is. At the same time, we should recognize that pent-up frustration can have real consequences and be detrimental to our mental health. I firmly believe that allowing yourself the space to complain every once in a while about the little things frees up mental bandwidth to deal with more consequential life events. It is a frustration-release valve.”

Venting
Book:Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage
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“You can complain about the small stuff, but it should be lighthearted, quippy, and avoid personal attacks. Being still is about having the ability to delay an emotional reaction and replace it with a preplanned response. The response is intentional and deliberate, not reactionary, and based on the qualities and attributes that you have already aspired to as part of your hero archetypes. You are choosing to sweat the small stuff, but you are choosing to do so with some grace, humor, and self-awareness. This isn’t easy. It can go wrong. It may take practice and keen observation of how people react to you. But don’t overthink it—just remember a few key principles. Incorporate humor and sarcasm when possible. Sarcasm is a uniquely American and British attribute, and I think we should embrace it. Smile. Don’t overdo it. Just sweat the small stuff enough to make sure the frustration valve is released a little bit.”

Venting
Book:Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage
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“Mornings at 300 Fox Way were fearful, jumbled things. Elbows in sides and lines for the bathroom and people snapping over tea bags placed into cups that already had tea bags in them. There was school for Blue and work for some of the more productive (or less intuitive) aunts. Toast got burned, cereal went soggy, the refrigerator door hung open and expectant for minutes at a time. Keys jingled as car pools were hastily decided.”

The Raven CycleMaggie StiefvaterBlue SargentThe Raven BoysTrc300 Fox Way
Book:The Raven Boys
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