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Quote by Rachel Havekost

“As time went on, the line between my Eating Disorder and my self became so blurred that I could not see my Eating Disorder as something separate from me. I lost touch of what it felt like or looked like to eat “normally.” I didn’t know what hunger felt like—because I only knew what hunger felt like. I didn’t know what feeling satisfied felt like, because I only knew what full beyond physical comfort felt like. I had no idea what other people ate or didn’t eat, how often or when, how much or in what combination. My body became such a confusing place to live inside, and I often didn’t recognize it as my own.”

Quote by Rachel Havekost

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Rachel Havekost

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“En dat was precies de vruchtbare bodem die mijn eetstoornis nodig had om zich te beginnen ontwikkelen. Ik was extreem onzeker, had ernstig trauma doorstaan, vergeleek mezelf continu met mijn klasgenoten, had last van een verlammende mate van perfectionisme, had gaandeweg een intense zelfhaat ontwikkeld en walgde van mijn eigen lichaam. Niet lang daarna begon ik mijn lunch op school weg te gooien. Weer wat later stak ik voor de eerste keer mijn vinger in mijn keel. En zo evolueerde mijn eetprobleem tot een eetstoornis, die elke dag een beetje meer grip op me kreeg.”

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