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Magic in the Backyard

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Kellie Elmore

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“Just as I am watching a tongue of blue flame rising in the fire, and my lamp is burning low, the horrible contraction will begin in my chest. I shall only have time to reach the bell, and pull it violently, before the sense of suffocation will come. No one will answer my bell. I know why. My two servants are lovers, and will have quarrelled. My housekeeper will have rushed out of the house in a fury, two hours before, hoping that Perry will believe she has gone to drown herself. Perry is alarmed at last, and is gone out after her. The little scullery-maid is asleep on a bench: she never answers the bell; it does not wake her. The sense of suffocation increases: my lamp goes out with a horrible stench: I make a great effort, and snatch at the bell again. I long for life, and there is no help. I thirsted for the unknown: the thirst is gone. 0 God, let me stay with the known, and be weary of it. I am content. Agony of pain and suffocation - and all the while the earth, the fields, the pebbly brook at the bottom of the rookery, the fresh scent after the rain, the light of the morning through my chamber window, the warmth of the hearth after the frosty air - will darkness close over them for ever? Darkness-darkness-no pain-nothing but darkness: but I am passing on and on through the darkness: my thought stays in the darkness, but always with a sense of moving onward ... ("The Lifted Veil")”

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Book:The Lifted Veil
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“oh. she heard it too-no waters coursing, canyon empty, sun soundless- and the beast your life nowhere hiding (p. 103)”

LoveLifeDeathMotherPoetryHateGriefHealingDyingNew YorkSonPoemConflictLetting GoCancerMemoirGrievingPoemsDeath And DyingDeath Of A Loved OneVersesMountainsAlcoholismSoul SearchingLove And HateDaughtersMemoirsVerseDeath And LoveDeath And SicknessColon CancerDying At HomeGrieving The Loss Of A MotherBarbara BlatnerDeath And SonNew York QuarterlyDeath And DaughtersVerse Memoir
Book:The Still Position: A Verse Memoir of My Mother's Death
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“Madoka: Won't anyone notice that Mami-san is dead? Homura: Mami Tomoe's only relatives are distant relations. It will be quite some time before anyone files a missing persons report. When one dies on that side of the wards, not even a body is left behind. She'll wind up forever a "missing person"... That is what happens to magical girls in the end. Madoka: ...That's too cruel! Mami-san has been fighting all alone for a long time for everyone's sake! For no one to even notice that she's gone... That's just too lonely a fate... Homura: It is just that kind of contract that gives us the power in the first place. It isn't for anyone else's sake. We fight on for the sake of our own prayer. So for no one to notice... for the world to forget us... That is just something we have to accept.”

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Book:Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Vol. 1
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“...gripping the rim of the sink you claw your way to stand and cling there, quaking with will, on heron legs, and still the hot muck pours out of you. (p. 27)”

LoveLifeDeathMotherPoetryHateGriefHealingDyingNew YorkSonPoemConflictCancerMemoirGrievingPoemsDeath And DyingDeath Of A Loved OneVersesMountainsAlcoholismDaughtersMemoirsVerseDeath And LoveDeath And SicknessColon CancerDying At HomeGrieving The Loss Of A MotherBarbara BlatnerDeath And SonNew York QuarterlyDeath And DaughtersVerse Memoir
Book:The Still Position: A Verse Memoir of My Mother's Death
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“Die. Do you think I will? I suppose I must...I exist now, and everything that exists must end, one day. I wonder how I will die, and what it will be like. It will be most interesting, don't you think? [...] Yes. Yes, I think it will," said the wolf. "I look forward to it. On the whole, I think it is a very strange and terrifying thing, to exist. I really don't understand how you do it. Tell me - how do you deal with the fear? "The fear?" asked George. "Yes. That fear that comes from the feeling that there is you, and then there is...everything else. That you are trapped inside of yourself, a tiny dot insignificant in the face of every everything that could ever be. How do you manage that?" George considered how to answer. "I...guess we just never think about it." "Never think about it!" cried the wolf. "How can you not think about it when it confronts you at every moment? You are lost amid a wide, dark sea, with no shores in sight, and you all so rarely panic! Some days I can barely function, so how on earth can you never think about it?" "Well, I...suppose we distract ourselves," said George. "But with what?". "I don't know. With all kinds of things.”

DeathExistenceDying
Book:The Troupe
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“blue-gold sky, fresh cloud, emerald-black mountain, trees on rocky ledges, on the summit, the tiny pin of a telephone tower-all brilliantly clear, in shadow and out. and on and through everything everywhere the sun shines without reservation (p. 97)”

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Book:The Still Position: A Verse Memoir of My Mother's Death
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