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Quote by Suleika Jaouad

“I'm realizing that if I am to cross the distance between near-death and renewal, instead of trying to bury my pain, I must use it as a guide to know myself better. In confronting my past, I have to reckon not only with the pain of losing other people but also with the pain I've caused others. I must keep seeking truths and teachers on these long, lonely stretches of highway even when--especially when--the search brings discomfort.”

Quote by Suleika Jaouad

Work

Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted

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Suleika Jaouad

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“Every brittle, suppressed feeling I have erupts, splintering into a thousand shards that rupture my organs. I let my body go limp, and I crumple, curling up like a dying bug in the dirt. A low, raw keening hits my ears. It’s soft, barely audible, but it whines out of my throat with grating force. My nails dig into my forehead, then into my hair, as if I can dig my grief out by the roots. Lucky. Jaykob. Dom. Jasper. Beau. Dead.”

“Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves. Forgive, Edward. Forgive. Do you remember the lightness you felt when you first arrived in heaven?' Eddie did. Where is my pain? 'That's because no one is born with anger. And when we die, the soul is freed of it. But now, here, in order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did, and why you no longer need to feel it.' She touched his hand. 'You need to forgive your father.”

“We are cotton buds sucking up the sadness of others, we are saturated, we are saviours. We absorb pain, too thick with mess to notice that everything around us is drying up and growing over. We will wake up one day in a wasteland, surrounded by the crumbling bones of those who loved us and waited for us to love them back. We did not forget but we were too busy being useful. We will crumble next to them but it will take forever, we will sit amongst the piles of dust alone.”