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“The more pain we experience, the more we distrust others and protect ourselves. But the more we protect ourselves, the harder it is to experience intimacy with somebody new, leaving us to only be attracted to those who are most likely to hurt us. When people hurt us - when people impede on our lives and demand control of our emotions and attention - we lose our sense of self. We lose the ability to stand up for ourselves, because it becomes unclear where we end and our partner begins. We become fearful of demanding respect for ourselves because it could potentially cause us even more pain. We surrender our own will and desires. We dedicate our energy to placating and pleasing others when they have no right. And after enough time, this begins to feel normal.” — Mark Manson