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“From early childhood, I started trying on identities for the buzz they gave me, and I held on to the ones that worked— good reader, gifted writer, strong chess player. At some regrettable point, I took on the identity of being super- reliable. It’s not that I “was” those things but that I got high if others saw me that way, and I got hurt if they didn’t. … And it’s surprising to me how people and events can still affect my mood by affirming or challenging my story and the beliefs that make it up. Without ever planning it or consciously choosing it, I tied my happiness to a story of who I am. If someone contradicts my story, I get angry. If someone honors and affirms my story, I respond with the false grace of an addict who just got a fix. I believe that most of our struggles for happiness can be seen inside this frame, which, for this book, I’m going to call the self-image model of happiness. This is the implicit model of most self-improvement literature—you achieve happiness by deciding who you want to be and becoming that.” — Tom Rosshirt