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“We do not have to do with others as "they really are" but with our idea of them. This means that the experience of loss occurs both when we really lose someone and when this someone, for whatever reason, no longer corresponds to the idea we had of him. It is an inner grief just as strong and from which we often defend ourselves, as long as we can, through denial. Denial ends when the energy needed to deny becomes superior to what it takes to process the loss and move on.” — Luigina Sgarro
We do not have to do with others as "they really are" but with our idea of them.
This means that the experience of loss occurs both when we really lose someone and when this someone, for whatever reason, no longer corresponds to the idea we had of him.
It is an inner grief just as strong and from which we often defend ourselves, as long as we can, through denial.
Denial ends when the energy needed to deny becomes superior to what it takes to process the loss and move on.