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“After John’s arrest, Stillness seemed impossible. My mind never stopped, and I kept ramming through the ever-growing to-dos as fast as I could. To be honest, I was afraid to stop. I was afraid to stop working, to stop making money, to stop moving long enough to let what was happening sink in. My whole life, I’ve been a doer. Now, I worried that if I stopped doing and started being, all of this would be real. I worried I’d sink into a dark hole of despair and never come out. But maybe if I kept checking off to-dos and focused on keeping all the balls in the air, I could fix it. That was, after all, what I was good at.” — Darcy Luoma

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After John’s arrest, Stillness seemed impossible. My mind never stopped, and I kept ramming through the ever-growing to-dos as fast as I could. To be honest, I was afraid to stop. I was afraid to stop working, to stop making money, to stop moving long enough to let what was happening sink in. My whole life, I’ve been a doer. Now, I worried that if I stopped doing and started being, all of this would be real. I worried I’d sink into a dark hole of despair and never come out. But maybe if I kept checking off to-dos and focused on keeping all the balls in the air, I could fix it. That was, after all, what I was good at.
— Darcy Luoma