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So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore: An Unexpected Journey

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Jake Colsen

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“An EMPATH is someone with at least one significant gift for directly experiencing what it is like to be another person. Many different empath gifts are possible, but the process of developing empath skill is identical whether you were born with one empath gift or many. Whichever of these 15 special empath gifts you have, it was installed on the day you were born. Installed fully switched ON.”

“Folks could claim they served their dishes to dignitaries, kings, and empresses, but few had the impact of cooking for immortals. And it wasn't only the honor that drew people to the banquet, it was its life-changing prize. The winners of the Celestial Banquet would each receive a priceless gift: a peach of immortality. Three vertical banners in shades of jeweled green bearing the names of the major gods unfurled next--- Luck, Temperance, and Indulgence. Everyone on the Continent worshipped the gods. They presided over our world but only came down every ten years for the competition-- a legendary celebration of the vanquishing of Death. They were the arbiters of taste. Not only did they shape the culinary landscape, but their choice of whom to award the peaches had a far-reaching impact--- the valuable prize provided the winning team the bargaining power to defend. For me, it would mean making my dreams a reality and honoring my father's dying wish.”

“Vogonci. Ne bi ni prstom makli čak ni da spase vlastitu baku od prožrdljive bubozdrobne zvijeri s Traaala bez naređenja u tri primjerka, preporučeno poslanih s povratnicom, poslanih natrag, traženih, izgubljenih, pronađenih, podnesenih na javnu raspravu, ponovno izgubljenih i konačno pokopanih u mekom močvarnom tlu i recikliranih kao upaljač.”