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Unstoppable Grace: A Memoir

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Ron Acosta

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“I'm hard work, Nick. And I'm OK with that, but you need to be OK with that too because I'm not going to change." Finally, I draw to a breathless stop. "But that's the whole point," he says slowly with a warm smile. "I don't want you to change, Harriet. You're not hard work for me." And that's when I know. As Nick laces his fingers through mine and the golden sun in my chest starts burning so brightly it feels like it's going to explode, I realise that all that time we were focusing on our three stars, the moon had been there too. Coming and going - waxing and waning - but never really leaving. Always there: always shared. Always reflecting love and light back at me. "Acceptance," Lion Boy says, kissing me gently. "Tick.”

“I've written about persistence and perseverance and yet for those of us with patchwork lives (projects, earnings, caretaking, home-tending, playing, friending, loving, celebrating, hurting, grieving, healing, assessing, re-grouping) persistence and perseverance has to be allowed in patches, not what from the outside might be viewed as 'normal' (for whatever worth normal has, the top of that overused bell curve). So let me clarify. When I talk about persistence, it isn't about persistence of equal measure every day. It's about not giving up on whatever is important to you, and, especially, not giving up on yourself. Some chapters of your life may allow many facets of your being, others just cannot and the feeling of failure that can arouse is of no value. Sometimes all you can do is ask yourself: What must I do this week? today? next hour? to continue the process as healthily as possible? to accomplish the most? It may be deep immersion in one, or it may be an odd mix. And tomorrow may be different. And an unexpected gift may come and change everything. And a Mack truck may hit and change everything. Our answers to those questions may not look similar but what I hope is similar is the acceptance of what must be. Persist in your own patches. Make your own quilt.”