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“How contradictoryI am, Lisa! These civil wars inside me are continuous and exhausting. One part of me fighting another with remorseless ferocity. I was still in love with hím - and yet I wanted to be free of him. I did not love him, I have come to understand, I merely loved his addiction to me. I am not made for love. I want nobody. I need to be absolutely free. I am repelled by my indifference. I wish I were another kind of woman, a lovable one, not so cold and hard that I am hateful to myself. Maybe it is my own self-love that I saw in him and was disgusted by.” — Anuradha Roy
How contradictoryI am, Lisa! These civil wars inside me are continuous and exhausting. One part of me fighting another with remorseless ferocity. I was still in love with hím - and yet
I wanted to be free of him. I did not love him, I have come to understand, I merely loved his addiction to me. I am not made for love. I want nobody. I need to be absolutely free. I am repelled by my indifference. I wish I were another kind of woman, a lovable one, not so cold and hard that I am hateful to myself. Maybe it is my own self-love that I saw in him and was disgusted by.