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Quote by Andrew Jalbert

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Back on Bonaire: Rediscovering Diver's Paradise as a Father

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Andrew Jalbert

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“If unloving mothers were able to see their behavious as abusive, they either would stop behaving that way or they would get help for their dysfunction. But many cannot: instead, they deny it, to themselves, their families, and the world at large, in order to avoid a sense of guilt, to avoid having to make changes in their lives, or to avoid the bruising awareness that they, too, were unloved children.”

ChildhoodAbuseEmotional AbuseChildhood TraumaMother Daughter RelationshipEngulfing MotherNarcissistic Parent
Book:When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life
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“If you are told from the time you are one month that you're no good and you're not smart and you can't do it and you don't have an opinion of your own and you pick the wrong friends and you don't study the right way and you don't wear the right clothes and you don't look nice, at some point you're going to start believing it. And if you believe it, you're going to need a mommy to tell you what to do. And that's abuse. Not to let your child grow up to be an independent, respected human being.”

ChildhoodAbuseEmotional AbuseChildhood TraumaMother Daughter RelationshipEngulfing MotherNarcissistic Parent
Book:When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life
Create image

“Another step is that daughters can learn to monitor their own feelings and instincts by saying, "I feel uncomfortable (angry, dominated, usurped, inadequate, guilty, furious) with my mother more often than I do not. I have to pay attention to that, because it shows in how I treat my friends (lover, spouse, kids, colleagues). There is validity here. I don't have to blame or excuse my mother-I just have to see her so I can see myself.”

ChildhoodAbuseEmotional AbuseChildhood TraumaMother Daughter RelationshipEngulfing MotherNarcissistic Parent
Book:When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life
Create image