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Quote by Christina Lauren

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Love and Other Words

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Christina Lauren

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“I was certain she would recover. She had so much strength in her, and spirit. I started making some pickles; I was thinking that many months ahead. The cucumbers were so green and compelling, and I carefully cut away bruises. But Maruschl was gone before the next Tuesday. The baby Katharina died as well within the month. To hear Susanna weeping in an unspeakable misery saying, My baby, my baby, was worse than my own losses. I was willing to give everything and anything to bring the children back. As we waited for Hans to return, there was a part of me that held out the hope that when he returned, so they would too. I dreamed of walking hand in hand with Maruschl. I dreamed even of us arguing, of her growing angry with me, or disappointed, I wanted that for her much more than I wanted to live.”

“I loved you from the moment I saw you. I loved you madly. And I ruined it because I turned into a man I'm not proud of. And because I ruined it the way I did, because I was awful at treating you the way you deserved to be treated, I am sorry. Sometimes I think about going back to our wedding day and wanting to do it all over again, wanting to fix my mistakes so that you never have to go through what I put you through. I know I can't do that, but what I can do is look you in the eye and tell you from the very bottom of my heart that I know how incredible you are, I know how great we could have been together, I know that everything we both lost was my fault, I am dedicated to never behaving that poorly again, and I am truly, truly sorry”