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Quote by James Kavanaugh

“Mrs. Fixer We call her Mrs. Fixer because she fixes Everything for everybody. If you need a ride, you call her, Or a meal, or a telephone committee. She'll find you an apartment or a part-time job, Even a date if you're in the market. And all the time she only wants someone to love her But she's afraid to ask. So she fixes everything for everybody instead And you keep calling her when you need something And forget to tell her that you love her. So she'll probably die lonely And have a big funeral And everyone will tell about The way she fixed things all the time.”

Quote by James Kavanaugh

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Will You Be My Friend?

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Author

James Kavanaugh
James Kavanaugh

James Kavanaugh was an American priest born on September 17, 1928, and passed away on December 29, 2009. He is known for his contributions to theology and spiritual life. more

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“Because sober or not, until you start to tell the truth, you're going to be desperately lonely. Perhaps this is obvious, but I'm pretty sure it escapes most of us. We know we're lonely...but we don't really know why...I felt a nagging ache of separateness I could not name. Despite being surrounded by people, having a big social life, more plans than I had time for, and a solid group of people I considered friends, I still felt very much alone. I felt alone in my marriage. I felt alone in my friendships, And actually being alone by myself? Forget it - that was intolerable... Loneliness started to abate only when I began to really let people in and tell them the truth, and that took a long, long time. The antidote to loneliness wasn't just being around others or sharing common ground. It was intimacy. My friend Meadow's definition of intimacy...she says, "Intimacy is having a kind, compassionate witness to your truest thoughts and feelings." Having a witness also means being seen. Really seen. In all our humanity - flaws and ugly bits and all. Even the most courageous of us are willing to go about 90 percent of the way there, but we hold on to that last 10 percent, the part that could allow us to be really known. Sobriety hasn't so much been about revealing the 90 percent but that last 10. The little bit I always want to keep to myself. The problem is, 10 percent of withholding, or secretiveness, will still eventually contaminate the whole...And keeping 10 percent of yourself from your partner, or whomever you could trust with your heart, will make you 100 percent lonely.”

“It is true that the real world of the soul is an invisible place, removed from the rush and chatter of crowds, and that the most important portion of life is the secret and solitary portion. Yet the most influential element even of this secluded world and this hidden life, is the element which consists of the ideas and feelings we habitually cherish in relation to our fellow-beings.”

“This is the 10 percent withholding. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but right then they agreed it was okay to lie to each other - even if only a little...But they were always operating just left of center, hovering around the truth of who they were, unwilling to life the film from their eyes. It was a lot safer this way, but it was also extraordinarily lonely... It would have been a risk to call him out on the little fudging of the truth...she would have had to withstand a moment of discomfort...it might have allowed then to actually fins an honest ground zero from which to build something.”

“The higher we look on the scale of strength and individuality, the more isolated we see that the nature and habits of creatures are. The eagle chooses his eyrie in the bleakest solitude; the condor affects the deserted empyrean; the leopard prowls through the jungle by himself; the lion has a lonely lair. So with men. While savages, like the Hottentots, gibber in their kraals, and, among civilized nations, the dissipated and the frivolous collect in clubs and assemblies, dreading to be left in seclusion, the poet loves his solitary walk, the saint retreats to be closeted with God, and the philosopher wraps himself in immensity.”