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Audition for the Fox

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Martin Cahill

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“I shared my love of books with Benny, but Aunt Yolanda opened my eyes to the world of food as art, cooking without cans. She introduced me to the magic of spices, the exotic perfume of fresh herbs crushed between fingers. Younger than my mother, she was rounded in just the right spots, from her love of good food, and when we talked she looked right at me and listened, nodding and laughing loudly when I'd tell jokes, holding my hand when we'd walk, as if we were best friends or sisters. She liked Anne and Christine, too, but I could tell I was her favorite. She took me with her on shopping trips, to the fish market near the waterfront and the farm stands out west. Sometimes she'd journey to the Asian grocers in Northeast Portland or the hippie vegetarian markets on Hawthorne to find something special. We'd come home laden with ingredients that I knew my mother had never heard of, and the resulting feasts would fill me with a yearning to go to different places, to try new things.”

“Soon they grew tall, soon they grew strong. They wrapped themselves around her, smothering her in leaves and flowers. She laughed at the profusion, the beauty of this little grove that was the whole forest to her, the whole world. If they choked her, if they sucked her dry of substance, she would give in without any sacrifice of will — it seemed in keeping with nature to do so. In the end they would swarm over her, reach up above her, tower into the sky, and she would be just the old log, the dried mass of roots on which they grew. She was the tree, she was the soil, she was the earth.”

“Brigid couldn't help but be charmed by this clever girl, with her baby doll freckles and wild red curls. She'd clearly inherited all the best of the Duncan clan. Sadie's energy, Rose's warmth, Ivy's optimism, her mother's beauty. According to the last report filed by Brigid's private investigator, Sybil worked three lunch shifts a week at a soup kitchen in her neighborhood. She fed a colony of feral cats near the Brooklyn waterfront and picked up trash in Prospect Park.”

“I still think we need tricksters to tweak the nose of tyrants. I still think we need loving, inclusive, intersectional communities that can hold space for all those who lack such a thing, and embrace them in that held space and into community. I still think there will always be a part of me that feels like Nesi: too young, too inexperienced, too anxious while also wildly passionate, eager to help, and desperate to fulfill a purpose. And I still think stories are some of the best tools we have in the world to save each other, through joy, shared experience, human connection, and the healing power of art.”