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“Banksie, hi. What you up to?' 'Well, I'm going to be writing a book about whisky.' 'You're what?' 'I'm going to be writing a book about whisky. I've been, umm, you know, commissioned. To write a book about it. About whisky. Malt whisky, actually.' 'You're writing a book about whisky?' 'Yeah. It means I have to go all over Scotland, driving mostly, but taking other types of transport - ferries, planes, trains, that sort of thing - visiting distilleries and tasting malt whisky. With expenses, obviously.' 'You serious?' 'Course I'm serious!' 'Really?' 'Oh yeah.' '... Do you need any help with this?” — Iain Banks

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Banksie, hi. What you up to?' 'Well, I'm going to be writing a book about whisky.' 'You're what?' 'I'm going to be writing a book about whisky. I've been, umm, you know, commissioned. To write a book about it. About whisky. Malt whisky, actually.' 'You're writing a book about whisky?' 'Yeah. It means I have to go all over Scotland, driving mostly, but taking other types of transport - ferries, planes, trains, that sort of thing - visiting distilleries and tasting malt whisky. With expenses, obviously.' 'You serious?' 'Course I'm serious!' 'Really?' 'Oh yeah.' '... Do you need any help with this?
— Iain Banks