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Rupi Kaur

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“Once you’ve recognized someone you’ve met as secure, remember not to make impulsive decisions about whether s/he is right for you. Remind yourself that you might feel bored at first—after all, there is less drama when your attachment system isn’t activated. Give it some time. Chances are, if you are anxious, you will automatically interpret calmness in the relationship as a lack of attraction. A habit of years is not easy to shed. But if you hold out a little longer, you may start to appreciate a calm attachment system and all the advantages it has to offer.”

“In the very observation of pain, a tiny window of freedom has opened up in which you have the ability to choose how you will relate to the painful sensations in that moment-and in the next, and the next after that. With mindfulness you have brought an entirely new element into the pain-of-the-stubbed-toe equation, and because of that you have changed your relationship to the sensation in your toe. And in doing so, you actually experience the pain differently. You still feel pain, but you are liberated from the reactivity of the mind.”

“We have a choice, a choice not about whether to experience pain, but about our relationship to that pain or how we interpret it. This is the difference between pain and suffering. It is sometimes said about life that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”