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“As I sit on the folding metal chair I begin to fear getting up. As the finale approaches, I experience outright panic. What if my feet no longer move? What if my muscles lock? What if this neuritis or neuropathy or neurological inflammation has evolved into a condition more malign? I once in my late twenties had an exclusionary diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, believe later by the neurologist who made the diagnosis to be in remission, but what if it is no longer in remission? What if it never was? What if it has returned? What if I stand up from this folding chair in this rehearsal room on West Forty-second Street and collapse, fall to the floor, the folding metal chair collapsing with me? Or what if--- (Another series of dire possibilities occurs to me, this series even more alarming than the last---) What if the damage extends beyond the physical? What if the problem is now cognitive? What if the absence of style that I welcomed at one point---the directness that I encouraged, even cultivated---what if this absence of style has now taken on a pernicious life of its own? What if my new inability to summon the right word, the apt thought, the connection that enables the words to make sense, the rhythm, the music itself--- What if this new inability is systemic? What if I can never again locate the words that work?” — Joan Didion