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BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends): A Girl's Guide to Happy Friendships

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Jessica Speer

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“Everyone has certain qualities that they are drawn to in friends. Keep an eye out for friends that have the qualities you find important in friendship. And, of course, being a good friend is the best way to attract and keep friends too.”

“If you want to be a real person living in the real world, the first thing you must do is get off the grid. Take the first brave step and delete your Facebook profile. After all, you surely wouldn’t want the words carved on your headstone to be: “I was registered with Facebook. I had 101 online friends (and I even knew a few of them). My current mood is: Sad.”

“When you speak like this it embarasses me. You listen to me, Olek. There will always be men who select their friends for reasons of advancement, either socially, military, or politically. They will tell you to avoid a certain man's company because he is out of favor, or his family is poor. Or, indeed, because his life is lived in a manner some people find unbecoming. As a soldier I judge men by what they can do. By how much guts they have. When it comes to friends all that matters is whether I like them. I like Greavas. I think you will come to like him too. If you don't that's too bad. You will still learn to dance. And I will expect you to stand up for him with your friends.”

“Fighting the desire inside her and becoming friends, only friends, had been painful at first, yet she had done it for Lyric. She had repeated to herself a mantra. It’s not about me, it’s not about me. Not about what she wanted, but what Lyric needed. She had a responsibility to this little one to do more than feed and clothe her, but to show her that she wasn’t alone in the world. That she had a team, people who put her joy first. If it meant she and Stuart had to put their happiness on the shelf, so be it. Until she realized how it had set them free. Friends are not perfect and tidy and forever poised. Friends, true friends, can come to each other with their frayed edges and belly laughs.”

“She called Kaneesha, whose machine said, "If you want money, go away. If you want to sell me something, it better be clothes. If you are a friend, let's party soon. If this is Tanya, where's my red tank top? Later. Beep." She called Douglas, the one boy in school she felt comfortable with. They could talk about anything. His answering machine said, "I'm probably underneath my Camaro, but leave a message for when I'm vertical." Hannah sighed.”