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Quote by Wayne Koestenbaum

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Our Deep Gossip: Conversations with Gay Writers on Poetry and Desire

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Wayne Koestenbaum

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“There are many things to question in this conflation of binaries: good/bad, with normal/abnormal, and natural/unnatural. First off, can we really say that "normal" and "natural" things are somehow morally better than those that are "abnormal" and "unnatural"? It's not normal to be a genius, a musical prodigy, or a great altruist, but we generally don't shun those people! And it's pretty unnatural to use smartphones and to fly around the world, yet people welcome the ability to do those things.”

“Perhaps an overarching binary when it comes to love and relationships is the one which privileges partners over friends. You can see this reflected in phrases like "just friends", "more than friends" and "friendzone", all of which suggest that being friends is inferior to - and less desirable than - being partners with someone.”

“The partner/friend binary places coupled, monogamous, romantic, sexual, partnered love right at the pinnacle of human experience. Like the sexual and gender binaries this is quite a new, Western dominant culture thing to do, and certainly not the way that relationships have been done globally, or across time.”