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Mending Softly: Finding Hope & Healing After Ectopic Pregnancy Loss

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Jodi Sky Rogers

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“The fall is hard – the crashing, the breaking, the scattering of your broken clay body. What I found however, is that the mending is slow, soft and although somewhat ungraceful still, you sense yourself being held by an unseen force, something greater than you wrapping you in its balm. Remember this on those days when it feels like healing will never come.”

“Weeks after talking to Kristen Swanson, I couldn't stop thinking about something she said- that birth and life and death exist in women's bodies simultaneously. I picture pregnancy loss as a primordial river rushing through me; it carries forces so big, they eclipse my imagination. It runs through my femoral artery and vena cava, through my spleen, my brain, and the chambers of my heart. At first, this force is strong like rapids, flooding everything. With time it slows, but it never goes away. It rearranges my cells like stones in a riverbed. It never stops running, even after I can no longer see it or feel it.”

“Some doctors who specialize in the care of geriatric patients have told me that there are rare occasions when they have heard a very old, sick, and frail person announce, “I’m going to die today.” And the individual did. But it doesn’t happen often.”