Quote image editor
“Shinzen Young’s formula suffering equals pain multiplied by resistance (S = P × R) applies perfectly in these types of situations. We magnify any pain by the degree to which we fight it. When we stop reproaching and start accepting, suffering diminishes. A big part of the Self-Worth Safari adventure is that of reconnecting with your intrinsic reality, rather than living in the mental movie theater of self-assessment and self-reproach. The terrain of romantic love can be painful enough without adding any additional penalty points. If you have lost a partner (or someone you hoped would be a partner), even if love has eluded you entirely, that’s enough to deal with. You don’t need the additional burden of negative judgment about yourself. The pain of loss heals with time, but self-reproach is like a cancer that eats away at happiness and energy. Self-acceptance is a deep understanding of who you really are, with honest acknowledgment of (so-called) strengths and weaknesses as well as your needs. It means accepting your reality, even when it’s not “enough”.” — John Niland