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The Disciplined Leader: Keeping the Focus on What Really Matters

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John Manning

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“Your child's needs are far more profound than his aberrant behavior. Remember, his behavior does not just spring forth uncaused. His behavior - the things he says and does - reflects his heart. If you are to really help him, you must be concerned with the attitudes of heart that drive his behavior. A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in heart is not commendable; it is condemnable. Is it not the hypocrisy that Jesus condemned in the Pharisees? In Matthew 15, Jesus denounces the Pharisees who have honored him with their lips while their hearts were far from him. Jesus censures them as people who wash the outside of the cup while the inside is still unclean. Yet this is what we often do in childrearing. We demand changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior. What must you do in correction and discipline? You must require proper behavior. God's law demands that. You cannot, however, be satisfied to leave the matter there. You must help your child ask the questions that will expose that attitude of the heart that has resulted in wrong behavior. How did his heart stray to produce this behavior? In what characteristic ways has his inability or refusal to know, trust, and obey God resulted in actions and speech that are wrong?”

“Live meaningfully. Do what you love doing and makes you happy. Do it very, very well. Stay true to what you believe in. Don’t chase rewards, recognition or even worldly success. When they come, embrace them with humility. But don’t chase them. When you live Life this way, what you set out to do will most likely outlive you. It will touch people’s lives for a long, long time, in more ways than you can ever imagine. This is how you make your one Life count. This is how you live happily.”

“Don't let truth and grace forsake one another. If you raise your child with only truth (or your laws), they will never live up to your rules or expectations. No one can fulfill all of the law. On the other hand , if you only give grace to your children, they will run wild without restraint.”