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Quote by Jordan Ifueko

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Raybearer

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Jordan Ifueko

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“Raindrops suddenly began to fall, wetting the roofs of the huts. They fall regularly, like the weight of life or of time. On nights when it rained, I couldn't stop myself from listening to the sound, which kept me from sleeping. Insomnia, then eternal sleep--held apart from one by death and the other by life, brought closer to one by life and the other by death, and the rain, the rain, the rain, the rain. It rained on the day that my only son died.”

“After Your Death First, I emptied the closets of your clothes, threw out the bowl of fruit, bruised from your touch, left empty the jars you bought for preserves. The next morning, birds rustled the fruit trees, and later when I twisted a ripe fig loose from its stem, I found it half eaten, the other side already rotting, or—like another I plucked and split open—being taken from the inside: a swarm of insects hollowing it. I’m too late, again, another space emptied by loss. Tomorrow, the bowl I have yet to fill.”

“I could tell you a story. I could tell you a tale. I could spin my life, And make it sound so well. But then you wouldn’t understand my being. You wouldn’t catch my meaning. You wouldn’t understand what I was seeing. You wouldn’t see the beauty. The hurt, the smile, the love. You wouldn’t see it truly. So I’m not going to lie. I’m just going to let the time go by. Eventually you’ll get it. You’ll stop asking why. I’m not trying to be mean. I just want you to see what I’ve seen. Like watching it on a movie screen. Scene by scene. Tear by tear. Each and every fear. All of it, I want you to hear. Does this make me mad? Does it make me bad? Does it make you sad? Am I annoying you now? Would you like me to tell you how, It came to be this way? Sorry, but I don’t really think I should say. Because then you wouldn’t understand my being. You wouldn’t catch my meaning. You wouldn’t understand what I was seeing. You wouldn’t see the beauty. The hurt, the smile, the love. You wouldn’t see it truly. So I’m not going to lie. I’m just going to let the time go by. Eventually you’ll get it. You’ll stop asking why.”