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“I was not enjoying this any longer but I kept turning towards it, and I could not explain why. Was it just because my friends did drugs? Was it because of social pressure or loneliness? Was it because of dependency and habit? For some reason, any alternative seemed better than sobriety. I kept telling myself that I chose this path because it was more fun, more interesting, and more eventful. I told myself that the people who failed to choose it were just afraid to let go and live. Then I would go and have the craziest adventures, and each one would propel me deeper into this lifestyle. Somewhere deep down, I knew that I was lying to myself, and yet each escapade pulled me deeper into my own little biosphere of lies and delusions.” — Michael J Heil