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Quote by Geoffrey L Cohen

“Affirm: I don't mean dole out vapid praise or flatter ourselves in the mirror, which research shows to be counterproductive. I mean that we should create opportunities, even small ones, for people to express who they are and what they value, and to feel valued. Contrary to popular wisdom, many self-affirmations take the form not of "I am good, or smart, or well liked" but "Here is what I am committed to and why," which "firms up" the self. We miss far too many opportunities to affirm people, which, ironically, is the most important when they may seem least worthy of affirmation: when they're threatened, stressed, or defensive.”

Quote by Geoffrey L Cohen

Book:Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides - Library Edition
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Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides - Library Edition

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Geoffrey L Cohen

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“I agree that one should spend more time with individuals that bring out the best not stress, and sometimes that includes surrounding yourself with #reading books that nurture #positivethinking, putting out daily reminders, like Post-it Notes that self-affirm your #goals & tenacity for surpassing them, and surrounding yourself with nature that allows you to be still and self-love!”

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“But the older I get the more I become aware that I was raised thinking that my real value was based on the role I would play for other people. After all, being deemed a good wife or a good mother or daughter is rarely based on how true you are to yourself. Where I was raised, women are taught that to be a good woman you need to be good for other people. If your kids are happy, then you're a good mom. If your husband is happy, then you're a good wife. All of your value is essentially wrapped up in other people's happiness. How can anyone successfully navigate that for a lifetime? It's no wonder so many mothers send me notes telling me they've lost themselves. Of course they have! If you live your life to please everyone else, you forget what used to make you YOU.”

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“If the path to experiencing one's feelings is blocked either the prohibitions of "poisonous pedagogy" or by the needs of the parents, then these feelings will have to be lived out. This can occur either in a destructive form, as in Hitler's case, or in a self-destructive one, as in Christiane F.'s. Or, as in the case of most criminals who end up in prison, this living out can lead to the destruction both of the self and of others.”

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Book:For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
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