“A salesman called on my wife the other day and tried to sell her a freezer. You'll save a fortune on your food bills, he promised. I can't tell you how much you'll save. It'll be tremendous. Said my wife: I'm sure you're right, but we're already saving a fortune with our new car by not taking the bus. We're saving a fortune with our new washing machine by not sending out the laundry. We're saving a fortune with our new dishwasher by giving up the maid. The plain truth is that right now we just can't afford to save any more!” GivingSaidI CanWifeCarRight NowTruth IsGiving UpMachinesBillsSellsFortuneMy WifeSavingBusWashingSalesmanMaidsLaundryNew CarDishwashersFreezerWashing Machines Author:Joey Bishop
“I do not begrudge Bill Clinton's working for his wife, but the one thing I would say is really important to President Clinton to think about right now, because of the larger megaphone he has as a former president, he really needs to be careful with the truth.” ThinkingNeedsImportantPresidentWifeOne ThingRight NowBillsClintonCarefulFormerBe CarefulPresident Clinton Author:Claire McCaskill
“There's a lot of money being generated by nerds right now. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, the list goes on and on. Nerds make more money than our government. And with money comes power.” GovernmentGoes OnRight NowMarkBillsListsGatesMore MoneyLots Of MoneyNerdZuckerberg Author:Chris Hardwick
“When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.” ThinkingBigsGuyThreeComedyModernRight NowBillsBurrs Author:Brad Williams
“If you were to rush into this room right now and announce that you had struck a deal - with God, Allah, Buddha, Christ, Krishna, Bill Gates, whomever - in which the ten years since my diagnosis could be magically taken away, traded in for ten more years as the person I was before - I would, without a moment's hesitation, tell you to take a hike.” IfsYearsPersonsMomentsChristRoomsDealsTakenRight NowTenBillsGatesDiagnosisKrishnaHesitation Author:Michael J. Fox