“Never bring a gun to a fight where the other guy has a time-machine and tomorrow's newspapers.” GuyFightingTomorrowGunMachinesNewspapersOther GuysTime Machine Author:James Nicoll
“If we saw tomorrow's newspaper today, tomorrow would never happen.” IfsHappensTodaySawsTomorrowNewspapers Author:Kenneth E. Boulding
“Ladies, you wake up tomorrow and the newspaper reads Scientists have discovered a way for men to experience childbirth. That would be awesome.” MenWayWould BeTomorrowScientistWake UpNewspapersChildbirth Author:Bill Engvall
“Newspapers do a good job telling me what happened yesterday, but they'd be a lot more impressive if they could tell me what's going to happen tomorrow.” IfsHappensJobsHappenedTomorrowYesterdayNewspapersGood JobImpressive Author:Fuzzy Zoeller