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“Hey, buddy. Are you ready to swim with Joshua? And eat hot dogs?” Brady nodded. “Hot dogs! Thew’s a pawty in my tummy!” He giggled and grinned at me. I rolled my eyes and set him down on the floor. “You’re going to make me sing it back?” He nodded, bouncing. I rubbed my hand over my stomach. “So yummy, so yummy.” He fell back onto his bottom and rolled on the floor in a fit of laughter. “No more YoGabbaGabba, li’l man. It makes Dee’s brain crazy.”

“Brady! You can’t watch that!” He looked up at me, his eyebrows furrowed, from his place on the floor. The remote was far away from him, next to the screen, so he couldn’t have changed the channel. I snatched it up and hit the information button. “What the hell is a YoGabbaGabba?” I looked back over at Brady and frowned. “Uh, never mind. Go ahead.” Walking with purpose back into the kitchen, I whispered into the receiver. “Okay. No joke, there is a talking, dancing, bright red, studded dildo on the screen. There are other ones that look like him, and I swear to God one is wearing a condom on his head. That’s a kids’ show?” I looked back into the living room. “Whatever happened to good old-fashioned cartoons? Don’t they have good shit like Animaniacs anymore?”