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Heartwood

Book by Amity Gaige · 6 quotes · Love, Advice, Being In Love

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Heartwood Quotes

“There weren't enough rosary beads in the world, nor numbers to count backward, when you left my room at night. It may be dangerous to be unfathered, exposed on the animal plain, but life unmothered is simply unlivable. I mean, why go on? I held a little funeral every time you left the room. I tried to smother myself with my pillow. I replayed home movies of our lost lives in my head. Then, eventually, I'd start to worry a scab or to scratch my dry legs or count my teeth with my tongue, taking some clinical half interest in my body, waiting for the night to pass. I withstood this agony for at least ten minutes before slipping out of bed to put my eye to the crack in the door. Because the wonderful thing about my bedroom was that it looked out on you.”

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“Dear Mother, You used to call me Sparrow. Why Sparrow? Well, because the woods are full of sparrows, and you loved everything outdoors. Songbirds, wildflowers, wind. You could read the weather like a poem. But why did I remind you of a sparrow and not another songbird? I never thought to ask. With their white cheeks and dingy underparts, plain brown sparrows are everywhere. They beg at outdoor tables and hop under city benches. They nest in chimneys and rafters and even tailpipes. Sparrows are not much to look at, but they’re smart. Canny. Tiny, feathered battle-axes. Sparrows are survivors. I like to think that’s what you meant… No woman is a star. No woman is a god or a tree or a magician. But for a while, in your arms, the universe was the right size, and I knew where I was…Mothers have a sixth sense. Their love is occult.”

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“Maybe you’re right. I mean…how could I have known he was lying? Not like I know what it’s like to be loved. Nobody ever loved me,” he said, refusing to allow himself to cry. [...] "You do know what love looks like, darling,” Darian said, brushing a tear away from his lashes with his thumb. “It’s drawing hearts with flowers in a bathtub. It’s pretending you like oatmeal because the other person can’t eat anything else for a couple of weeks. It’s allowing someone to move everything in your greenhouse around just to see them smile proudly at the good job they’d done. It’s taking care of each other, spending time together, wanting to be with someone forever. You do know what it’s like to be loved, Tate, because I love you.”

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