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Chidera Eggerue Biography

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“Dating from a place of co-dependency, like a lot of us do, is immediately feeling as though the guy you went on a few dates with (who keeps ghosting you) is suddenly the one - just because he ticks a few of your boxes, texts you back sometimes and happens to be cute. But no, he's not being mysterious for intermittently disappearing on you. He's actually keeping you at a distance and playing on your need for validation, so that when he's done with his other options, he can return to you with minimal effort, knowing that you've been waiting for him all this time.”

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Book:How To Get Over A Boy
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“The savior complex manifests differently for everyone, but for the most part it's a form of self-sabotage hidden in helping someone else... A desperate need to be understood by people who continue to show you that they barely understand themselves will shackle you to the most emotionally debilitating situations. But it's often deeper than just wanting to be understood. A lot of us want to feel needed, because with that comes a sense of purpose outside of ourselves.”

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Book:How To Get Over A Boy
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“Our relationships and friendships often reflect where we are in life at the moment, and sometimes when you evolve sooner than you were prepared for, the only way to complete the process is to remove people from your life who only remind you of the version of yourself you have since outgrown...This is why I am strongly against helping to build men up in a world where they are averse to anything that reminds them of their struggle.”

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Book:How To Get Over A Boy
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“What does being understood do for you? It makes you feel safe and seen. It makes you feel like your flaws aren't 'that bad'. It enables you. But whilst being around people who make the effort to understand you is beneficial, you still need to inspect yourself. My way of releasing the unhealthy need to be understood by others often comes in the form of me accepting that I am a complex, multi-faceted being - it would be impossible for me to be entirely understood even by myself.”

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Book:How To Get Over A Boy
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“We exist in a world where in the US, the most developed country in the world, for every dollar a man makes, a (white) woman makes about 79 cents. Trying to create false 'equality' by splitting expenses with a man, or taking in a man like he's a rescue dog from a shelter, will always benefit him more than it benefits you, even if you find it 'empowering'. There's nothing empowering to me about sharing my resources with someone who has access to more than I do.”

RelationshipsSelf LoveSelf RespectSelf CareSelf Growth
Book:How To Get Over A Boy
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