“She waited. She waited so excruciatingly long that she could physically feel the time pass; a binding in her chest, her breath shallow and raspy. Silence seemed to stuff itself in her ears like cotton balls.” WaitingGrief Book:The Wrath of Con Source: The Wrath of Con
“There is a weird kind of anonymity a roller coaster provides: It’s populated, but everyone’s too preoccupied with whirling around the roof of a casino to eavesdrop. It runs a fixed amount of time, has minimal surveillance for lack of a way to descramble the audio, and it’s conveniently out of earshot for certain writer- types who might scribble down the plan.” CrimeRoller Coasters Book:The Wrath of Con Source: The Wrath of Con
“Statistical fact: cops will never pull over a man in a sweet van if he’s carrying forty pounds of sinsemilla buds. Another fact: ninety percent of all statistics are made up.” StatisticsDrugs Marijuana Author:Daniel Younger
“She overslept, was rude to her barista at Starbucks, and had an inexplicable craving for Baskin Robbins. She moped. She pouted. And even though she’d hexed a man to fawn over her, repeatedly going, “Hey, you look familiar, can I buy you a drink?” with no recollection of the ten previous times he’d done it, she found no pleasure in the hijinks. She was in a funk. It bothered her.” Bad Moods Book:The Wrath of Con Source: The Wrath of Con
“Mack Gaffey, resident veterinarian and owner of Oak Falls Kennel for the Canine Challenged came to greet him. He was a tall, painfully thin man with a tuft of wiry gray hair sticking out in horns on his head and a pair of thick-rimmed glasses. “Sheriff, glad you could make it.” They shook hands. “Alright Mack,” Al said. “So you’ve had yourself some vandalism, huh?” Mack nodded and lead him around his white GMC. On hood of the van was a fogged-up ZipLock bag. “Some sicko took a dump on my van.” Mack held up the bag so Al could see the giant, steaming turd inside. “It’s human shit, Al. I did the tests this morning.” The sheriff frowned and started wiping the hand he shook Mack’s with against his pants. “Well, this stinks.” “You should smell it out of the bag, Sheriff.” Poo Book:Zen and the Art of Cannibalism: A Zomedy Source: Zen and the Art of Cannibalism: A Zomedy