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Erika L. Sánchez Books

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“That's not how I want to live, Amá." I'm not sure if I'm supposed to speak, but I can't help it. "I'm sorry that I'm not Olga and I never will be. I love you, but I want a different life for myself. I don't want to stay home. I don't even know if I ever want to get married or have kids. I want to go to school. I want to see the world. I want so many things sometimes I can't even stand it. I feel like I'm going to explode." Amá doesn't say anything. We all sit in silence until Adelita tells us to hold hands for the closing play.”

“I love art almost as much as I love books. It’s hard to explain the way I feel when I see a beautiful painting. It’s a combination of scared, happy, excited, and sad all at once, like a soft light that glows in my chest and stomach for a few seconds. Sometimes it takes my breath away, which I didn’t know was a real thing until I stood in front of this painting. I used to think it was just some saying in pop songs about stupid people in love. I had a similar feeling when I read an Emily Dickinson poem. I was too excited and threw my book across the room. It was so good that it made me angry. People would think I'm nuts if I try to explain it to them, so I don't.”

“You know, I just... I just feel like it's unfair, that my whole life is unfair, like I was born into the wrong place and family. I never belong anywhere. My parents don't understand anything about me. And my sister is gone. Sometimes I watch those stupid TV shows, you know? The ones where mothers and daughters talk about feelings and fathers take their kids to play baseball or get ice cream or some shit like that, and I wish it were me. It's so stupid, I know, to want your life to be a sitcom.”

“Todo Cambia" by Mercedes Sosa. I became obsessed the first time I heard it. Everything in the sound is true - everything changes, for better or worse, whether we like it or not, sometimes it's beautiful, and sometimes it fills us with terror. Sometimes both. Cambia el más fino brillante De mano en mano su brillo Cambia el nido el pajarillo Cambia el sentir un amante Cambia el rumbo el caminante Aunque esto le cause daño Y así como todo cambia Qué yo cambie no es extraño”