“Adolescence is a time of self-discovery. But discovery doesn't have to mean defiance. Teens do need to find out who they want to be, but they should be free to select qualities and values held by their parents as well as those not held by them. In our opinion, reaching adulthood does not require relational tension. Defiance of authority is not a growing pain but a behavioral choice. Rebelling against parents doesn't make you an adult any more than rebelling against a government makes you president.” Parenting Teens Book:On Becoming Teenwise: Building a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime Source: On Becoming Teenwise: Building a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime