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Gaurav S Kaintura Biography

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“i wish i were a bird so i could fly over to your balcony and sit there whole day watching you in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening till you go to bed for sleep at night, sometimes i wish i could talk to you in that squeaky voice or maybe make you laugh with my birdie dance, i wish i could hear your heart beats surreptitiously when you fall asleep in your bed and wipe your tears off your cheek, i wish i could bring small beautiful flowers in my little beak and keep it fresh on your porch ready for a warm good morning, i wish if you notice that bird sometimes, i wish if i could speak all these words to you but you won't understand cause all i do is chirp, chirp, chirp...”

“I hear voices in my head of people screaming and crying for help. I feel haunted by looking at my own reflection in the mirror sometimes. When I look at other people, I feel pangs of grief, a beautiful life wasted so short and then I think of my own self and find no greater difference. We all are living what we don't know, why we don't want to answer that. I feel comfort in the deep sleep though only for short time because as soon I wake up and look around I find myself back in the same world. Dying.”

“Sometimes I just wish to be an ordinary man living in a simple village. Going through my day working in a farm, nibbling local snacks in the evening, drinking coffee and preparing the food by my own at night. To spend my Sundays rising before the sun, going for long countryside walk, sometimes cycling and listening my favourite music for the rest of the day. This is not all but it's enough for me - for an ordinary man.”

“there are few souls who live with their madness keeping themselves alive through all the trials and tribulations they fight during the day hours and struggle all through their life but they never quit or opt something else for every night when they go to sleep in their bed they ask and question themselves and make peace with their mind they can never betray their soul there are only few of such souls alive and out of those few i know i’m one of them. - (living with madness)”

“With each second passing by I realise I am moving towards my death. But then I also understand how important it is to untangle yourself from everything that is unnecessary and unworthy of this life. Like a room filled with all the noisy sound you didn't want to hear and everything lying around you don't know why but it is just there because you were lost in the moment thinking about something stupid and when you took hold of things you find everything was shattering down and falling into the ground. You being bewildered run around crying, 'hilfe hilfe' and suddenly out of a dream you wake up and question the sanctity of your life. You give that confused look like you nod when you look at your reflection in the mirror and then you turn around, there is a room with everything scattered in bits and pieces, don't know why and you press hard both of your ears with your delicate hands trying to stop the noise coming out of your mind.”

“It's been more than thousands of years and we're still grappling with common issues and fighting for our identity, beliefs, freedom, food and expression. Nobody seeks redemption. No one wants peace. If that had not been so we wouldn't have the arms and ammunitions factory as the world's largest industry in the world. It is like we are hopping from one delusion to another and the endless cycle of multiple human cravings. Wise is he who fixes his basic needs very naturally and is idle left alone. One who wants nothings. For only he can think and look for what he really wants.”

“Sometimes I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night drenched with sweat all over my head. And I cry with no tears coming out of my eyes staring blankly into the pointless space in front of me. I try hard and close my eyes hoping to fall asleep but like a daemon running in the background it scares the hell shit out of me. I just wish it is just a story on the back of my mind and as soon as I will wake up next morning it will fade away like a dream but I fear it isn't and I know it won't.”