“More than anything else, Nana's not sure if she wants to open up Sora and Aeja and Nana herself to Moseh ssi, not so much the actual Sora, Aeja, and Nana, but as they exist for her, inside her. Between wishing for things to remain as they are and desiring just as strongly to smash things up, to break everything apart, Nana's internal landscape has been in severe upheaval these days.” LoveFearFamilyUncertainty Book:One Hundred Shadows Source: One Hundred Shadows
“Listen, Nana says. Am I selfish. Am I. Because that's what Moseh ssi said. He said I'm selfish. He asked me why I don't consider the social damage and so on to the child. And it's true, I don't think I am considering it, or not as much as I should be. I thought I'd be fine no matter what people said, but maybe the reason I felt confident was because I hadn't thought enough about it. Maybe this resolve, being determined to see this through on my part only leaves the baby vulnerable, gives the baby no choice other than to bear life and endure pain? I mean, what with the rest of the world being how it is, and how tongues will wag. In fact, even the world and what it is, all that has to be considered from a new perspective, doesn't it. And how is it, the world? Fine, is it? Fit enough that I can bring a child into it? What if the baby asks me why I let it be born? Look, the average lifespan these days is about eighty years, right. What if in all that time there's nothing but misery?” LifeSelfFearFamilySocietyMotherhood Book:I'll Go On Source: I'll Go On
“In fact I've got to thinking not that there's a baby growing inside me, but that there's another heart inside. Lying very still on my back at night, I can feel it beating away. Zig, zig, zig, zig, goes the tiny heart, beating at a faster pace and to a different rhythm than my own. Holding my breath, I have to lie completely still in order to sense the tenuous vibrations. Zig, zig, zig, zig, the fragile and busy motion of this second heart.” LoveSelfIdentityMotherhoodPregnancy Book:I'll Go On Source: I'll Go On