“March 22, 2014 I have found the truth in the lies I told myself. I thought I could run from this woman, but she continues to chase me. In my mind, my heart, she’s always there. An entire bottle of whiskey can’t drown out her voice. I wake up each morning hoping it will finally be the day that I get over her. But then night falls and memories of her begin to torture me until sleep is no longer an option. Each night I fall into this abyss of nothingness, feeling only the emptiness of not having her beside me. I have found the truth in the lies I told myself. I slept with another woman, all the while wishing it was her and I still went through with it. What a fool I was. I still long to feel the satisfaction I was supposed to have felt that night. I still long to feel the freedom I’d hoped to gain from seeking refuge in the arms of another woman. But I’ll never be free of her. It will take an eternity to break out of these shackles. For one month, ONE month I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants and yet for two years I haven’t even so much as looked at another woman. I’ve remained completely faithful to a memory. Devoted to her smile. Committed to her ever-changing green eyes. I have read through the past entries in this journal and I noticed that I have never used her name. As if inking it would somehow solidify the feelings I think I’ve always felt. I have found the truth in the lies I told myself. I do love her. Love is this painful.” LoveRomanceHeartbreakAdrian Hawk Adrian S Journal Author:Jacqueline Francis
“The virus seemed to be thriving on his misery, relentlessly tearing through his insides. Every day it made its rounds through his body. It started at his fingers, making them itch to touch her until he could almost feel her fleshy lips beneath his thumb, the silky strands of her hair sliding through his fingers. It would then move up to his arms, creating an urge to hold her, an urge that could not be fulfilled. Next it went for his eyes, causing him to see her everywhere, in every little thing. He would see her in the kitchen, making coffee. He would see her cuddled up on the sofa, watching T.V. He had to blink several times before he realised that she wasn’t really there. It would then move to his heart, ruthlessly choking it until it was so heavy and so sore, he could feel the pain of losing her in every beat. And then, finally, just as night fell, it would attack his brain, invoking images of her. Thoughts and memories and dreams. He could not take much more. It was slowly driving him insane. He could not break out of these shackles.” LoveRomanceHeartacheAdrian Hawk Author:Jacqueline Francis
“The virus that had lay dormant for two years had been reawakened by simply seeing her smile. He thought he would be impervious to it by now, but every time her eyes changed colour, every time she giggled, it just caused the infection to spread. He had no idea why he continued to torment himself this way; burning for a woman he knew he could not have. He happily spent an hour or two with her each day and then braced himself for the self-inflicted torture that inevitably ensued at night. That torture had become his way of life, but he found that a worse fate would be not seeing at all.” BeautifulRomanceSadAdrian HawkDrance Author:Jacqueline Francis
“March 28, 2012 The dreams won’t subside. I don’t just have them at night anymore but during the day as well. Erotic flashes of her lips, her breasts, her thighs. My imagination does not rest. I yearn to know what she feels like, what she tastes like. My dreams make me long for more. This woman is a virus. Every cell in my body has been infected by her. I try to remain civil, normal when I’m in her presence but she’ll lick her lips or play with the top of her collar and suddenly memories of my dreams will come flooding back. This woman is a virus that has dominated every part of my being. She attacks my lungs, squeezing the breath out of me until I’m hopelessly gasping for air. This isn’t a want. This isn’t a need. This is an ache. I ache with wanting. I ache with need. I ache until the pain finally leaves me feeling numb. I long for that numbness. It’s the only time I feel like…I don’t feel. I try to run away, to keep my distance but this woman is a virus. She’s in my blood. Her smile stops my feet from moving. The only time she allows me to breathe freely is when I inhale her perfume. I feel myself losing control. These dreams, this ache is slowly driving me insane. This woman is a virus and she’s eating me alive.” Romantic DramaAdrian HawkJournal Entries Author:Jacqueline Francis
“It was an overwhelming need. He tried not to think about her, to go on with business as usual, yet he still found himself outside her apartment door, as if this place had a magnetic force that pulled him towards it.” Romantic DramaAdrian HawkRicky Author:Jacqueline Francis
“He shut his eyes and grabbed the hair at the back of his head. The pain had not eased. It had just intensified.” Romantic DramaAdrian Hawk Author:Jacqueline Francis
“Adrian, on the other hand, was held captive by a much more powerful master, and even though the shackles no longer felt as heavy, he only obeyed the earthy voice in his head. Even when Edward had ranted and raved and called him a crazy man, Adrian had remained loyal to his master. Not even the promise of a higher salary had tempted him. He was ruled by only one woman, a woman that had enslaved him many years ago, and he was one hundred percent certain that those shackles were not coming off anytime soon.” Romantic DramaAdrian HawkRicky Author:Jacqueline Francis
“I’ve noticed. What’s up with you these days?” Adrian returned the sandwich to the box as he debated over what to tell her. One thing he had never done, was lie to Ricky and he was not going to start now. “I…uh…I have an infection,” he finally conceded – it was a half-truth, right? “It seems to be eating at my brain.” Romantic DramaAdriank Hawk Author:Jacqueline Francis
“The virus was rapidly spreading. It had infected his mind, eating away at everything except thoughts of her.” RomanceDramaAdrian HawkRicky Author:Jacqueline Francis