“From there my friendship with Sandy grew. It wasn't just that we were both studying for advanced degrees, and it wasn't just that we both had less than ideal marriages that eventually ended in complicated divorce cases. For me it was that, unlike so many other people, Sandy didn't try to swoop in and make things all better like a hero, and she didn't run when my children died. It's extremely lonely being the mother of dying children. You can't share any of the normal milestones, the normal sense of community with other mothers. And people either want to solve the problem, which they can't or they want to leave when the situation becomes too difficult. It's not out of callousness. It's out of pain; watching children die is hard. But Sandy tried to neither fix nor flee; she just wanted to be my friend. And she helped in very real ways.” ChildrenDeathMothersFriend Book:Messenger: The Legacy of Mattie J.T. Stepanek and Heartsongs Source: Messenger: The Legacy of Mattie J.T. Stepanek and Heartsongs