“It's hard when you look up and realise that everyone's moved off and left you in that place by yourself. Like they've all gone on and you're there still, holding on to this person you're supposed to let go of.” Grief Book:Our Wives Under the Sea Source: Our Wives Under the Sea
“I think about the way that we met, and then much later the way I assumed she was dead, after five months of radio silence—about how all you want to do in response to grief is talk about it but all everyone assumes you want to do is talk about anything else.” Grief Book:Our Wives Under the Sea Source: Our Wives Under the Sea
“Grief is selfish: we cry for ourselves without the person we have lost far more than we cry for the person.” Grief Book:Our Wives Under the Sea Source: Our Wives Under the Sea
“Something I learned very quickly was that grieving was complicated by lack of certainty, that the hope inherent in a missing loved one was also a species of curse. People posted about children who had gone missing upwards of fifteen years ago and whose faces were now impossible to conjure, about friends who had messaged to confirm a meeting place and then simply never showed up. In almost every case, the sense of loss was convoluted by an ache of possibility, by the almost-but-not-quite-negligible hope of reprieve. Deus ex machina – the missing loved one thrown back down to earth. Grief is selfish: we cry for ourselves without the person we have lost far more than we cry for the person – but more than that, we cry because it helps. The grief process is also the coping process and if the grief is frozen by ambiguity, by the constant possibility of reversal, then so is the ability to cope.” DeathLossGriefMourningDeadDisappearance Book:Our Wives Under the Sea Source: Our Wives Under the Sea