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“I began shoving pills into his mouth. I didn’t have time for this. I wanted to call my son and see that he was okay, talk to my wife and assure her everything was fine. After his mouth was full of pills, I pushed his head under the water, forcing him to gulp down or choke up. I repeated the action three times, until I was sure he’d swallowed enough drugs to kill a Game of Thrones dragon. His bloodstream would soon be more contaminated than Chernobyl circa 1986.”

“I knew it was important to box up these kind of moments, keep them locked away in my heart, and call them up when things got hard. Because moments like these reminded me that my life was hard, but not bad. There was a difference between the two. A hard life equaled a life full of obstacles and challenging moments but also full of people you loved and cared about. A bad life equaled an empty life. One that wasn't necessarily hard or challenging but was devoid of the people you loved and cared about.”

“Ask me what I want,' Vicious murmured into my face. The public display of affection from him —not sexual, not bullying, but pure, naked affection—filled my chest with warmth, but I tried to swallow down my hope. 'What do you want?' I turned my gaze to meet his, and suddenly, we weren't in New York, in a gallery full of people. We were in my old room. Ignoring the party and the world around us, a world that we constantly disregarded when we were together. 'I want you,' he said simply. 'Just you. Nothing else. Only ever you,' he breathed out in pain, closing his eyes. 'Fuck, Emilia. You.”